Watching

I am sitting in the Los Angeles airport waiting for a flight to the Snowing North West.  Traveling during the holidays can be a total mess. As I sit here I am watching people

I’m a people watcher. I like to eavesdrop on others conversations. Matt hates this about me because at restaurants I am completely distracted.  So as I sit here Im having a great time-watching. Matt’s ipod is in so he doesn’t care...

I sat right next to a boy who looks like he is going through chemo. He can’t be more than 16. I immediately feel sorry for him and wonder if I should strike up a conversation. What would I say? “Hey, you look sick…um yeah….”. As I glance at him (acting like I am just looking around) I notice that he doesn’t see himself as sick. He is a typical teenage boy on his phone texting and listening to music. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself and doesn’t want sympathy from some stranger. He certainly doesn’t act like his life is over or that he could possibly die. Ever notice how some people let their circumstances dictate who they are? They walk around with heaviness on them that is so obvious to the outside world and oblivious to them. When you are “in it” you usually don’t notice you are this way. So it always amazes me when people are in serious heavy crap- like an illness or recent death-and they don’t let it have them. I guess that’s why I get so sick of my own voice when I complain about my life and my “struggles”. I so easily let my circumstances dictate how I am going to feel and live. My mom hurt me so therefore I have the right to hurt her back or walk around life with a bitter face? Wait a minute… What if someone is watching me right now? What do they see? A girl who is happy just being me? A girl who is satisfied and content? Crap. Crap. I hope no one is looking cause I’m not sure I even like what I see.

 He’s now completely annoyed and arguing with his mom about something…yeah, he is just a teenage boy.